I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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