I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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