Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
