I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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