Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Who wears a wallet chain?!
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
