Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
