Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
