why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
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