he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
