Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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