We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
