just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
