There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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