you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
The police scanner is talking about you again....
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
