We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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