omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
