im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
