I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
