Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
