You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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