so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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