Whatcha textin bout Willis?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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