we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
