physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
