so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
