Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
she told me i tasted like america
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
