We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Sex in the backyard? Check.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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