Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
