Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Randomize
