you traded sex for a burrito?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
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