I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
