i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
