sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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