do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
