you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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