Non-Jews are for practice
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
