i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
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