I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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