At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
The uberlube is also flammable
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Randomize
