Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
