I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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