Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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