new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
