I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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