The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
