and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
