Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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