Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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