I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
