I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
my poor anus
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
