So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
