tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
